Realizing that your marriage is loveless is hard for many people. You probably thought that it would last forever. Once you know that it’s over, you’re going to need to let your spouse know. This usually doesn’t happen as it does in the movies when one spouse is suddenly served with the divorce petition. Instead, you need to have that all-important talk about the future.
Taking the time to plan what you want to say to your ex may make the situation a bit less stressful for you. You may still feel a bit of trepidation about it, but preparation may help some. Here are two basic tips:
Choose a quiet, private time
It’s best to have this discussion with your ex at a time when it’s quiet and you can talk privately. The kids don’t need to be around and there shouldn’t be any rush to get to an appointment. There will probably be a lot of emotion involved in the discussion so don’t try to cram it into a short timeframe.
Stick to the facts, not accusations
If you directly attack your spouse when you’re talking, they’ll likely get defensive. This may start a disagreement that could lead to a contentious divorce. Instead of attacking them or their actions, stick to the facts about the situation. Tell them that you want to end your marriage and the reasons why you don’t see any alternatives.
Every decision you make in your divorce process will have an impact on your future, so be sure that you’re thinking about what’s in your best interests as you go through the options at each step.